Saturday, June 27, 2009

sometimes the only reason
we need one another is
just for good ol brainless companionship.
no matter how transient the feel-good is,
maybe that's how we all cope
with the dark, heavy and sad stuff.

9:48 PM

Sunday, June 21, 2009

we say that,
but we really don't know.
maybe what it takes
to be typical
is to take the leap of faith,
sometimes forget logic,
and let things blow out of proportion,
because perhaps,
even Messy beats whatever this is.
on a happier note
i must have the
funkiest, most vulgar, may-jah dadzxzx
in the whole darn dying world.

11:41 PM

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

circles are kinda horrifying
because
once you show signs of integrating into
them, you are automatically expected
to do some of those unhealthy
happy-people-cluster-tog-24/7
kinda things.
people ditch formalities,
they demolish boundaries,
intrude on the basis of goodwill,
believe that whatever they
know of you is all you are about,
start those
sticky attachment messes,
and then allow it all to snowball
into some real, longterm
person-to-person obligatory relationship.

guess at some point i will
need to succumb to some of these.
could be my pretty darn
functional antiawkwardness mechanism
propogating this misunderstanding,
whatever it is,
i just hope i am half as good
at this as what i
come across to people.

10:49 PM

Sunday, June 14, 2009

i don't know how i
allow myself to
make the same mistakes
over and over and over
it is too dumb and
i really have no dignity arghxzxz

11:48 PM

Saturday, June 13, 2009

SHOT THRU THE HEART
AND YOU'RE TO BLAME
DARLIN' YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME

11:16 AM

Thursday, June 11, 2009

i feel like a
second class citizen
in my own world;
at some point
i would have to be
more integrated, less bitter,
more genuine, less irritable and
make major cuts to The Awkward factor.

p/s happy 22nd manda ntubffxzx

8:53 PM

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

i just wish i could
follow through,
be that Person
and practice at least half of
what I preach.
sometimes when im zen enough to
face up to my own frailties
i would realise to my horror
the extent of my moral/spiritual decay.
i mean dammitzx i really want
to walk the talk/thought but
most times i just let _____
get the better of me.

also i honestly suck at being a
good enough
friend/member of family/person
coz truth is,
i am fiercely capable of independently
handling most issues/situations in life.
so much so that
i think it really kills my
likability factor (hahaha ok sry)
because it is just
anti-social and not consistent with
social norms of interdependency among
groups of people.
also when i go into the
dark and gloomy
people just don't know what to say.
which i feel kinda bad about since
they sincerely just want to be nice and shiz.

oh my god i need some
soul detox soon.

10:19 PM

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

isnt it easy to
just throw it all away?

11:52 PM